Dr. Poornima Luthra is the author of Can I Say That? and The Art of Active Allyship.

The world we live in today, characterized by complexity, uncertainty, and change, is also one where rising polarization has made it “really difficult to have conversations at work, at meetings, by the coffee machine,” said organizational behavior expert Poornima Luthra, in the Convening EMEA opening keynote on Sept. 14 in Lisbon, Portugal. In turn, the things that stand in the way of robust conversations in the face of differences affect our ability to trust one another and to collaborate, said Luthra, a principal lecturer at the Imperial Business School in London and author of the 2025 book Can I Say That? Your Go-To Guide for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.

Luthra has spent the last two-and-a-half years researching what’s behind our polarization, including the emotions that are evoked when we engage with people holding very different viewpoints from our own. What Luthra discovered, she said, is that we react to perspectives that are very different from our own as threats, which activates the core human emotion of fear. It can take many forms — the fear of change, of doing or saying the wrong thing, or of being asked to think of ourselves or act in new ways — and makes it much harder for us to have conversations across our differences, she said. “In today’s world, there’s so much stigmatization, so much of a cancel culture,” Luthra said, “and that really prevents so many of us from actually taking the steps forward that we need to be taking to make change happen.”

Leadership and organizational behavior expert Poornima Luthra is a globally recognized author and educator.

Some Good News

But we’re not stuck, Luthra said. Her research also identified five tools, or ways of thinking, that have the potential to help us let go of our fear and create the kinds of conversations and environments that build trust between people:

Openness Luthra urged the audience to intentionally seek out alternative points of view, even when it’s uncomfortable. “Very often we look for perspectives that feed our own beliefs and the [news and social media] algorithms of today only help us do that,” she said. But “in order to bridge the polarization that divides us, we have to understand where people are coming from and the life experiences that have led them to think and feel the way they do about the world around them.”

Curiosity Biases are everywhere, Luthra said. “They’re in us, they’re in our systems, and our culture.” Our brains receive 11 million bits of information every second, yet we only consciously process 40 bits per second, which means that most of the information we receive is filtered through our unconscious mental shortcuts and characterizations of others, she said. “Bridging differences starts with being curious about and educating yourself about your own biases.”

And instead of jumping in to share your own perspective when you encounter different points of view, stay curious, Luthra counseled. “Use every interaction that you have with other people as an opportunity to understand others better.”

in her Convening EMEA keynote, Luthra highlighted the role of resilience in bridging differences with others. 

Vulnerability We often feel discomfort, including feeling physically uncomfortable, when we talk with someone with a very different perspective from our own, Luthra said. But we can learn “to get comfortable with our discomfort” and to create space for different ideas, she said. Her most recent research has shown that teams quickly converge around a particular perspective, she said, due in part to time pressure and deadlines. But Luthra advised resisting the temptation to reach consensus too quickly in team meetings. Just holding space “for a couple of extra minutes can work wonders in inviting in different viewpoints.”

Courage When the world feels very polarized, the potential for suffering negative personal consequences for standing up for our principles looms large, Luthra said. “It’s not an easy journey.” But when there’s something that you believe needs to be addressed, “I’m a big believer in questions,” she said. When you ask the right questions in the right tone — not ‘gotcha’ questions, but ones that come from the place of curiosity — it can foster an environment of collaboration and trust, she said.

Resilience Change takes time, which makes resilience “perhaps the most important, but most challenging” tool of them all, Luthra said. “For change to happen in our organizations, in our teams, in wider society, we have to be patient,” and it’s easy to doubt that our actions can have an impact, she said. But it’s the small changes over time that matter the most, Luthra said. “So within your sphere of influence, start challenging, asking those questions, engaging respectfully, having those dialogues, and also being willing to challenge your own viewpoints on how you see the world.” And finally, she said, “trust in the purpose of what you’re trying to gain out of these conversations.”

Barbara Palmer is Convene’s deputy editor